Just this morning, I was driving the kids to Nora's ballet lesson and we were listening to Jason Gray's cd "A Way to See in the Dark." I came to the song with that same title, and the words immediately struck a chord with something else we are walking through right now:
Here I am
Begging for certainty again
But simple trust
Is what you're asking me to give
In many ways, I am just like my Nora. I need to be reminded that God is doing all things for a purpose. And not just some silly, arbitrary purpose. God is working in my life, asking things of me because he loves me and cares for me and is doing what is best for me. This is not always at the forefront of my thought process, so I need to remind myself, I need HIM to remind me of these things all of the time! I need to trust Him.
We are in the process of buying a house and, to make a long story short, we are waiting on some very important paperwork to come through by a deadline. That deadline is fast approaching, and as we have been waiting helplessly for the past ten days or so, I've had to remind myself many times that the Lord is good, the Lord is sovereign and in control of every single situation. This "kink" in our plans of purchasing a home are of no surprise to Him, in fact he is orchestrating all things together for our good. When moments arise (and be certain that they do!) when I feel anxious or overwhelmed or panicked that, perhaps, things won't turn out as we have hoped, God has been very kind to draw me back to Himself, reminding me that He is trustworthy, He is good, He is all-wise and all-powerful. As the song lyrics say, I love certainty. If I have a plan, I like the guarantee that those plans are going to work out as I expect them to. Sometimes they do, but in our case right now, they are not. That doesn't mean that the Lord has dropped the ball. Satan would love for me to think that, but instead of listening to our enemy, the king of deception, the Lord wants me to remind myself of who He is and what Truth is.
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, thing about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."I'm not sure if I have done a good job of communicating the similarity here between my relationship with Nora and my own personal relationship with the Lord, but it's clear to me. I think I will always have to struggle for this reminder when in the midst of trial or adversity.
Philippians 4:4-9
The past ten days, I have been very aware of how the Lord has "guarded my heart and my mind." There is no other explanation for a trust in Him that is stronger than my anxiety or fear or lack of control in this current situation. When I am experiencing fear, He has given me the faith to trust Him, to call out to Him in prayer with the hope that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.
I'll keep you all posted on the house situation. I know that God has good things for us, no matter what turns out.
For those who are interested here are the lyrics to the Jason Gray song, "A Way to See in the Dark."
Here I am
Begging for certainty again
But simple trust
Is what you're asking me to give
If I am saved
You tell me it will not be by sight
So when I pray
I'll close my eyes, I'll close my eyes
I'll reach for your hand in the night
When the shadows swallow the light
'Cause I'm giving up, giving in
Once again a childlike faith
Is my only way
To see in the dark
The question mark
Hung at the end of every fear
Is answered by
The promise that you are with me here
And that's all I've got
When the lights go out and I lose my way
So I'll close my eyes
I won't be afraid, I won't be afraid
As I reach for your hand in the night
When the shadows swallow the light
'Cause I'm giving up, giving in
Once again a childlike faith
Is my only way
To see in the dark
If every star falls and the sun fails to rise
Still in my blindness I'll see
If You are my help, my hope and my vision
One step at a time You will lead
And I'll reach for your hand in the night
When the shadows swallow the light
'Cause I'm giving up, giving in
Once again a childlike faith
Is my only wayTo see in the dark
1 comment:
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