Green Leaves.

This past January, the ladies in our small group began going through a book together called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow.  I first read this book many years ago when I found it at my parent's house one day during a particularly difficult season in my life---we were struggling with getting pregnant and I was very consumed and fearful about being able to have children.  I read the book and learned so much and benefited tremendously from the wisdom and encouragement it provided.  Since that time, I've referred to it over and over again.  The past six months, as we've been going through this book together, I have rediscovered so much truth, so much application, and have grown in such depth of relationship with my girlfriends as the discussions of contentment (or lack thereof), fear, anxiety, and trusting the Lord have brought us together. 

Never has this book been more timely than in the past six weeks or so.  After reading several chapters on anxiety and how to walk out putting to death the sin of anxiety, the Lord has brought a trial into our family's life that has allowed me to put my faith to work.  I am so thankful for the foresight the Lord had in having me be reminded of his commands, saying, "Do not fear!" 

This morning, I woke up early to read and was slammed with a flood of encouragement from the Lord.  I opened my Calm My Anxious Heart book to the next chapter in our assignment, and it immediately felt as if the chapter were written for me.  For this season.  For today, specifically.  I am so blown away by the kindness of the Lord.  I sense his care and friendship.  He is so specific sometimes and so intentional, and I just want to remember this.  He has been so faithful the past several weeks, even when I am not.  He has carried me when I am low and sad and scared, and in the midst of all of those emotions, he has not left my side.  I have sensed His presence, His voice, His sovereignty there, just patiently waiting to remind me of His goodness. 

Here are somethings the Lord greeted me with this morning:

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Thus says the Lord:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man

and makes flesh his strength,

whose heart turns away from the Lord.

6 He is like a shrub in the desert,

and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

in an uninhabited salt land.

7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose trust is the Lord.

8 He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

The author of the book wrote a prayer based on these verses that she prayed over and over again during a long trial, which I am copying and planning to make my heart's prayer during this time:

Please, God, teach me what it means to not only trust You but make You my total trust.  I long to become that blessed woman whose roots are planted deep by Your river.  As the heat of the trials increase, I long to trust instead of fear, to be content instead of anxious.  Please keep my eyes focused on You so that my leaves will stay green and fruit will be produced in the midst of the what ifs, the trials, and the hardest days ahead.

Here are some other scriptures from the chapter that build my faith:

Isaiah 41:10
fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 141:8

But my eyes are toward you, O God, my Lord; in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless! 

Psalm 112:7
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

The Lord is trustworthy.  I can trust him with my life, my circumstances, and the future because I trust HIM and his character and his heart.  I can thank God that He has everything under control and that He is orchestrating all things.

Finally, this quote:

"Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future, but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but His."  H. E. Manning, as quoted by Elisabeth Elliot in her book Keep and Quiet Heart

I know I am being vague in this post regarding specifics, but there will be a time when I share specifically the things these words reference.  Thank you for your patience.

In the meantime, I am praying that my leaves will stay green!

Encouraging Reads

Recently, I have come across a few articles online that have been very encouraging and thought-provoking.  In case you missed me sharing them on Facebook, I thought I would post them here.  They are both simple and short, so if you have a few minutes, read them! I pray they warm your soul.

Ordinary Days
What is the greatest gift you can give to your kids? Ordinary days.  Holidays, big events, graduations....those are all great days to be present.  But it's the ordinary days that are extraordinary.


How to Find Quiet Time With God When There is No Quiet Time
I know my quiet times with the Lord are taken one day at a time.  Sometimes I totally miss it.  Sometimes I go weeks.  Thankful for the sweet reminder of truth.

And just for something funny, watch this:

The Season of Sowing

As a wife and mother of three small children, I am in a season of sowing.  This a wonderful time, filled with laughter and adventure and the joy that only a house bustling with little people can bring.  This season requires love and sacrifice as we pour into the lives of the children God has blessed us with.  But this season is one of anticipation.  We do not see many immediate results; in may regards, our harvest may be years away.

In reality, these are very long days.  Most days are full of much joy, but these days are also filled with lots of caring, lots of discipline, lots of schooling, lots of training, little sleep, little reaping of sowing.  There are so many precious moments with my little loves, but this season has also shown me lots of sin in myself, lots of sin in my children, and a very keen awareness of the need that we each have for a Savior.

My children are only 5, 3 and 1. The truth is, I am just at the beginning of this season of life, and it can be easy for me to be discouraged as I consider living out these long days for the next ten to fifteen years or longer.  Discouragement leads to weariness, and weariness leads to discontentment.  Fear finds its way into my heart as I look ahead at the years that are to come, wondering if I can possibly remain faithful to this tremendous task that the Lord has called me to.

Will I possibly have the strength to persevere through these years?
Is this investment worth the sacrifice?
I am not seeing any change in my children.  Am I doing this right? What am I doing wrong?
How do I know that I will one day reap a harvest?
Our heavenly Father desires to encourage us in this season.  He has so many wonderful promises in his Word to help us keep our focus on Him and His purposes during the years of investing in our children.

2 Corinthians 9:6-8 says, "The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. [. . .] And God is able to make all grace abound to you so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."

Also, Galatians 6:7-9 reminds us of the Lord's faithfulness:

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.  For the one who sows to his own flesh, will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.  And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
Let us hold fast to the promises of our God!  Let us sow bountifully in the hearts of our children because our God promises that we will reap what we sow!  And he is faithful to provide all of the grace, all of the energy, all of the wisdom, and all of the strength to pour ourselves out into our most precious little gifts.

Indescribable

Have you ever seen these videos by Louie Giglio!?

Louie is a pastor and founded the Passion ministry that is so well-known.  Jonathan and I saw him live while living in Baton Rouge during his "Indescribable" tour with Chris Tomlin.  These videos are what we heard him speak on and they were mind-blowing.  If you want to be amazed by God's greatness and hugeness and power, do yourself and your heart a favor and listen to these.  There are five total.  I am only going to include the first one so that I am not an obnoxious poster, but once you watch the first you can access the other four in sequence.  And, believe me, they are so intriguing that you'll watch all five with no effort.

I bring these up because our Care Group is reading a book together and during our discussion on Friday night we were talking about God's majesty and holiness, and somehow this message was brought up.  It's amazing how great our God is!

My Hope

One of my favorite musicians is worship leader Paul Baloche.  I have purchased several of his cds over the past few years, and they hold some of the richest, deepest worship music I've ever heard.  His latest CD is called "The Same Love."  It is sooooo good!  There is one song right now that I am just loving and listening to over and over.  It's a spin on the classic "My Hope is Built."

My favorite lyrics:  "I don't know where You'll take me.  But I know You're always good."

Here is a video of the song.



Here are the entire lyrics:

Nothing will change
If all the plans I make are wrong, Your love stays the same
Your light will guide me through it all, I’m hangin’ on
I’m leaning in, to You

Nothing can reach,
The end of all Your faithfulness
Your grace is with me,
Through every shadow, every test
I’m hangin’ on
I’m leaning in, to You

I don’t know where you’ll take me
But I know You’re always good
My hope is built on nothing else,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I’m holdin’ on
I’m holdin’ on, to You

You are my rock
When storms are raging all along,
You shelter me, God
I’m safe with you on solid ground,
I’m hangin’ on
I’m leaning in, to You

I don’t know where you’ll take me
But I know You’re always good
My hope is built on nothing else,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I’m holdin’ on
I’m holdin’ on, to You

My hope is built on nothing else,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I’m holdin’ on
I’m holdin’ on, to You

.nothing is wasted.

The hurt that broke your heart
And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope’s a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

It’s from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what’s lost will be found again

And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

From the ruins
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine

by Jason Gray
Album: A Way to See in the Dark 

Without God's Word as my lens.

"The spirit-to-spirit combat I endlessly wage with Satan is this ferocious thrash for joy.  He sneers at all the things that seem to have gone hideously mad in this sin-drunk world, and I gasp to say God is good.  The liar defiantly scrawls his graffiti across God's glory, and I heave to enjoy God...and Satan strangles, and I whiten knuckles to grasp real Truth and fix that beast to the floor.

It's just that the eyes are bad--my perspective.  'Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body,' Jesus said.  'When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light.  But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness.  And the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!' (Matthew 6:22-23).  If Satan can keep my eyes from the Word, my eyesight is too poor to read light--to fill with light.  Bad eyes fill the darkness so heavy the soul aches because empty is never truly empty; empty is only a full, deepening darkness.  So this is what it is to be.  Eve is the Garden, Satan's hiss tickling the ear, 'Did God actually say...?' (Genesis 3:1).

No Scripture glasses to read what God is trying to write though a prodigal child?  Scrawl my own quick editing on the half-finished story: failure.  Satan's tongue darts.

Not wearing a biblical lens to decipher the meaning of a doctor's ominous diagnosis?  Just read Satan's slippery interpretation: cheated.

Not using anything to bend the light of this world so I can read my own messy days? Spray on another layer of graffiti: worthless.

So I have been ambushed.
Without God's Word as a lens, the world warps."


One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
pages 90-91

Quite the Year.

I have been spending some time thinking back over all that this year has held for us. It's been quite a busy, quite a blessed, and quite a difficult year for our family. By difficult, I don't been bad or terrible. But we have definitely been put to the test, stretched in ways that we've never been before. We experienced lots of pruning and trial by fire, but I think that we have seen the Lord at work in our lives in great ways. For me, this year has been a year of growth in trusting the Lord, letting go more and more, little by little of my own control of life and things and desires for comfort. I have learned to love my husband more, love my children more, and love the Lord more. I have seen how God provides and blesses despite my efforts and in spite of my efforts.

I think this year can best be summed up by the word "perseverance." We have done much persevering through these little years with our little ones. Four year old. Two year old. Seven month old. Our days are very busy, very full, and very fun. The Lord has blessed us with many responsibilities in these little ones. Also, Jonathan has just begun his second year of owning his own practice. He has had to grow and stretch as a leader of several employees as well as making sure he is doing all he can to make his practice successful and productive. He leads our family so well every day. He also leads our Care Group which requires time and commitments and energy to pour into the lives of others that we love. These are all wonderful gifts from the Lord, and we have had such a fun year investing ourselves into all of these things.

This year Nora became a girl right before our eyes. There's no baby left in there, and more and more each day we see her maturing into a young lady. She has such a desire to learn and experience things. She's so curious and insightful. She certainly has a mind like a steel trap, never forgetting anything. She has such a desire to please and a heart to help. Granted, there are days when we see otherwise, but for the most part, she is a wonderful helper and a great big sister. Nora has developed a love for coloring and creating. She still loves her books and reading time, and pretending with her dolls, Barbies, or other toys is still a high priority. I wonder what this next year will hold for our girl? School. Reading books for real. Growing in love for her brother and sister. I anticipate every day with Nora.

This year Liam did so much changing. He was still a baby last January, but now he's nearly three. Just tonight, I sat in the kitchen watching him peel a banana, putting the peel in the trash. He was talking to me about something the whole time he did it. I said, "When did you get so big?" He replied, "I'm big, Mom." Always in that deep, gruff monotone. Then he changed his mind. "I'm not big, Mom. I'm little." (Ok, so when did he start calling me 'Mom'?) Liam went from just barely running and having a paci to a boy that is full-spirited, full-energy, and the character of our family. He has the sweetest heart and the richest personality. He loves to tell knock-knock jokes, kiss his baby sister, and play with his best friend Nora. I think that is probably one of my favorite things about this year: the relationship between my kiddos. It's hard to imagine how much more Liam will mature in the coming year. Maybe he'll be riding his bike? Coloring for longer than 20 seconds? Finally going to bed in a big boy bed? Potty-trained? Oh. It's going to be busy.

Stella is the highlight of our year. The best addition we could have gained. Never has there been a sweeter baby. My sweet potato. She's a respite to her Momma's busy days, and I am so thankful she loves to be held and hugged. Everyone in our family adores her and can't help but smile and welcome her when we see her. Stella will change the most this next year. Surely she'll be walking and babbling and learning how to get into trouble. She'll have her first bruises and love her first baby dolls. She'll probably get into her brother and sister's things and start to drive them crazy. She'll probably test my patience and continue to steal her Daddy's heart. My heart hurts just thinking about how quickly her days have gone by so far.

2012 will surely hold many blessings and wonderful memories. I am also certain it will carry the theme of persevering through busy days. These days seem long sometimes, but the weeks pass quickly. And the years with my kiddos pass even faster.

For myself, I think I have lots of room for growth. Trusting the Lord and letting go of my self-reliance is something I will always need to grow in, but I think over the past few months I have been complaining too much. I need to improve in that area. Already I find myself trying to muster up the resolve to "suck it up" and "be cheerful." But, that is my self-reliance trying to prove to myself that I can do this on my own, in my own strength. I need a heart change instead. I need to grow in my love for the Lord so that there is less love for me. I like myself too much, lately. I like my comfort too much. So, here's to dying to myself a little more each day for the glory of God. May my children love God more in 2012 because of the way I've loved them. May my husband love the Lord more in 2012 because of the way I have loved and served him. May I love the Lord more in 2012 because I have spent more time in His word and at His feet. May it be so, Lord.

Shaken

It's been a rough few days in mothering.  I feel like the Lord is trying to remind me (once again) how dependent on Him I truly am.  He is drawing me into Himself, trying to pull me out of my selfishness, self-reliant, independence.  He is trying to remind me that He has given me three wonderful, beautiful children who, alas, are sinners.  I, their momma, am the chief of sinners.  So, I am trying to cling to the Lord, find my Strength in Him, and fight for joy.  I have been listening to a few worship albums by Paul Baloche and have found much comfort, much encouragement, and much peace in them.  Here is one called "Shaken."

The lyrics are:

Only a spotless lamb
For a sinner's soul
You gave me a heart of flesh
For a heart of stone
You brought me down to my knees
When I was full of pride
And took away all the places
I could hide
Those You love You will chasten

Everything that can be will be shaken
Everything that can be will be shaken
And only You remain
Only You remain

Wherever my treasure is
There my heart will be
I'm fixing my eyes on things
In the heavenlies
When everything is said and done
And swept away
I wanna be by Your side
In eternity
Those You love You will chasten

No suffering for the moment
Is pleasant but it brings forth
The peaceful fruit of righteousness
Jesus my righteousness

Only You remain
Only You remain





Also, I LOVE the song "To The Cross"



Here are the lyrics for that song:


Where can I go
But to the cross to the cross
For there my shame
You have washed away

Where can I go
But to the cross to the cross
For there You gave
Up Your life for me
You gave Your life for me

You stretched Your arms out wide
I lift my hands up high to my Savior
You stretched Your arms out wide
I lift my hands up high to my Savior

So Lord I run
To the cross to the cross
Surrender all to my Savior King
Be my everything

Chains are broken
Shame has fallen
All my sins are gone

These songs and thoughts have been on my heart today.  I pray if you feel heavy-hearted too, that they would encourage you and help you to hang on to Christ tighter! 

.....Update.....

So, I have totally fallen off of the 30 Days of Thanks bandwagon because last week was insanely busy, but I have been taking pictures, and I do hope to start back up soon.  In the meantime, I wanted to give an update on Liam's sleeping.  I just want to give PRAISE to the Lord for what I believe to be an answer to prayer.  My prayers.  Our prayers.  Your prayers.  God's grace and mercy.  Shortly after I posted about Liam's sleeping patterns and suspicions of night terrors, things suddenly changed!  It started with one night where he didn't wake up. That was HUGE!  He woke up once or twice the following night, but then the night after that he slept through.  Then he slept all night again!

It's been at least 4 nights since he's woken in the middle of the night.  I spoke with him a few days ago in a casual conversation about how when he screams really loudly and shrieks, that it scares Momma and makes her think that something is really wrong with him.  I don't know if he understood me, but the past few mornings when he wakes up, he isn't screaming, but is calling for me very calmly. 

As far as any changes that we've made that may have contributed to this, all I can say is that we are "trying" to limit how much sugar and chocolate he has a few hours before bedtime.  Not that we have candy and dessert every night, but sometimes we do, so we've been trying to cut that out.  But, at our last Care Group Liam had a rice krispy treat, a piece or two of Halloween candy, and pink lemonade.  As we were putting him to bed, I reminded Jonathan of what he'd had so we both thought we'd be up with him that night.  But, we weren't. 

Seriously, the only explanation for this drastic change in his sleeping is the Lord.  I really believe in God's faithfulness and answering our prayers.  So, thank you for your input, your care, and your prayers.  I know Liam will have more restless nights and possible night terrors, but I am so thankful for the improvement we have seen.  And I know that even on sleepless nights, the Lord will sustain us.

Blessings of a Smaller Home

So, I guess I haven't updated that we have officially taken our home off of the market.  We put it up for sale last February, hoping to sell before Stella's arrival, but after six months with no offers and a dwindling market, we decided to wait.  As Liam says, "It's hard to be patient!"  I was torn (and still am, for that matter) about staying put where we are for right now.  I am thankful that we don't have to deal with house showings, open houses, having to keep the house spit-spot all of the time, and having to gather up three kiddos within a moment's notice if a realtor happens to call for a last-minute showing.  It was a lot to deal with around the time that Stella was born, so when we took the house off of the market, I was able to breathe a deep sigh of relief. 

On the other hand, we really would like to have more space.  Even typing that makes me grateful for what space we have.  We are more cramped than we'd like to be, but really, we are doing just fine.  I think for me it's just a struggle with contentment and gratefulness with what we have.  I like to think about what I would like to have compared to what we do have.  I like to compare our house to what others have, which only heightens my discontentment.  Some days I am thankful that I don't have more space to keep up because--just being honest--it's all I can do to keep some sense of sanity in the space that we have.  I know that more house means more work, so in this busy season of having three little ones, I am trying to remind myself that less is best for now.

A few weeks ago, I came across a blog post on this very subject on Passionate Homemaking.  The title of the article is "The Blessings of a Small Home."  It was just the reminder I needed to hear to be thankful for where we are and some great reasons why.  I trust that in His perfect timing, the Lord may bless us with a larger home.  But, I think God keeps reminding me that a new house is not where I will find happiness.  I don't need a new house; I don't deserve a new house.  I am blessed beyond measure with what I have right now.  And if it was better for us to be somewhere else, that is where we would be.  I trust in my Sovereign, my Good, my All-Knowing and All-Powerful God!  I just have to keep reminding my sinful, selfish heart that He knows better than I do!

Stepping Heavenward

I just had to get up from reading and share with you about this book.  I started reading it last Sunday, and any chance I get, I pick it up to read.  I am absolutely loving this book and am so challenged by reading about the journey of this woman from a young girl of sixteen who is so clueless about a true relationship with God to a wife and mother who through suffering, hardship, and true life learns what it means to be a daughter of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Seriously, I have highlighted about half of the book.  I think this will be one of my all-time favorite books that will be read over and over!

If you have not read it, I would highly recommend it.  Here are a few quotes that I just can't stop thinking about:

"If there is any one truth I would gladly impress on the mind of a young Christian, it is just this, that God notices the most trivial act, accepts the poorest, most threadbare little service, listens to the coldest, feeblest petition, and gathers up with parental fondness all our fragmentary desires and attempts at good works.  Oh, if we could only begin to conceive how He loves us, what different creatures we should be!"  page 68

"The more I pray and the more I read the Bible, the more I feel my ignorance.  And the more earnestly I desire holiness, the more utterly unholy I see myself to be." page 90

"...I shall now have one more mouth the more to fill and two more feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing. Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other.  Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery.  Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant.  I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer to them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me.  Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers!  Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!"  page 228-229

Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss

Came to My Rescue

Just being honest, it's been a rough week this past week parenting-wise.  I love my kiddos so much, but sometimes I get overwhelmed by the constancy of tending to a four-year old, two-year old, and three-month old.  It's a very busy season, but such a precious season.  I am so thankful for the time I have with them, almost every minute of every day, but I get very impatient at times and don't do a great job of displaying kindness, gentleness, and patience.  It's like I know in my head the kind of mother I want to be all of the time, but because of my sinful heart I am not that mother.  God has been showing me that I am completely dependent on him to be the Momma that brings him glory and shows Christ to my kiddos.  I have been very aware this week that I can't do this job by myself.

While driving in the car yesterday, I was listening to Pandora and found myself listening to a familiar song:  "Came to My Rescue" by Hillsong United.

Here are the words:

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours
My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne

I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I,
I wanna be where you are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

 The words "My whole life I place in your hands.  God of mercy, humbled,  I bow down.  [. . .] I called, you answered, and you came to my rescue and I want to be where you are."  That's my prayer.  My whole life, my kids' lives, their hearts, their salvation, their attitudes and behaviors, their education, their relationships with each other, my relationship with Jonathan, my chaotic house, my relationship with You.....I give it all to you.  I know in my sin I'll continue to take it back, thinking that I can handle it when indeed I cannot, but right now, I am going to choose to let go and give it to you.  Help me to keep doing that.  Give it up, give it you.  It belongs to you, anyway!

Motherhood

I recently came across two wonderful articles on the Desiring God blog about motherhood.  They were posted within a few weeks of each other, but the timing of their arrival has been just perfect for me and the encouragment and conviction I needed in the moment.  I pray that if you are have a good day as mother, a hard day as a mother, or just a mediocre day as a mother, that you will read these to uplift your soul and give a fresh breath to your calling as a Momma.

Click below to read each article by Rachel Jankovic:

Motherhood as a Mission Field

Motherhood is a Calling and Where your Children Rank

I plan to read and reread these over and over again!

Just the Boost and Encouragement I Needed...

Today is my first day with all three kids by myself.  Well, sorta.

My next door neighbor and close friend kept Nora and Liam for a bit while I ran Stella to her appointment this morning, and I have another friend coming to hang out with us for a few hours in just a little while.  But, when we all woke up this morning, it was just me.  I am learning to juggle three hungry mouths to feed, instead of just two.   We are all having to learn a little bit more about patience and not getting what we want the EXACT MOMENT we want to have it.  We are learning that we all need to help each other out a little bit more these days, and that Momma is just a tad busier with a newborn in hand.

I am so thankful for a husband and a momma and in-laws and friends that are constantly encouraging us all.  I am so thankful for a God who pours grace upon grace on us, even when we don't deserve it and especially when we need it.  I am thankful for a Savior who reminds me of my weakness in seasons like these so that I am reminded that I cannot do it all on my own.  I am in need of a Savior.  I am not totally independent and self-reliant, even though my foolish and deceptive heart tries to make me think that I am.  I am thankful for the forgiveness of the Lord, my husband, my children, and anyone else when I sin.

This morning as I was feeding Stella, I opened up Facebook on  my phone and came across a link someone shared to a blogpost on Motherhood.  I read it (it took just a few minutes and was TOTALLY worth the read), and I was so encouraged by what the Lord was saying to me through the woman who wrote the article. 

Here is just one small nugget of wisdom found in the article:

"At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field."

If you are discouraged, discontent or just needed to be refreshed about your call to mommyhood, please read this post.  The author also has written a book that I am going to order that seems like it will be a great read.

Here's the link:


 Motherhood as a Mission Field

Pillow Talk

Last night, I was the one putting Nora to bed and happened to have one adorable and priceless conversation with her.  I told Jonathan what we talked about and he encouraged me to write it down so we don't forget.  What childlike faith she has these days, and it is so neat to see her beginning to understand things about God.

We were talking small talk for a while, recalling what we did yesterday: woke up early because we had a house showing at 9 am, put the kids in the van and got some donut holes as a special treat, drove around looking at houses while we waited for the showing to be over, came home and played together as a family, jumped and played on the couch cushions, grilled some sausages for lunch, walked down to the playground, took some naps, and went to dinner with our next door neighbors.  We both agreed it was a great day!  We then both agreed we were very tired from such a busy weekend (Aunt Mames got married on Saturday), so I suggested we pray and go to sleep.

C:  Nora, do you want to pray?

N:  Sure.  Dear God, thank you for this day and for the beautiful weather and that we got to play together.  In Jesus' name, amen.

C:  Amen.  That was a wonderful prayer, Nora. 

N:  Thanks.  It was a little prayer.

C:  Well, that's okay.  Little prayers are just fine, and the more you pray, the better you will get at it and the longer they will get.  God doesn't care how long your prayers are, He is just glad that you are talking to Him.  He loves when you talk to Him and want to spend time with him.

N:  I can't hear Him.

C:  You can't hear God?

N:  No.  I can't hear him and I can't see him either.

C:  You're right, we can't see him with our eyes but we know that he's here with us.

N:  Yeah, he's everywhere.

C:  That's right.  He's everywhere all the time.  Can you be everywhere?

N:  Nooooo..... (with a giggle, as if that was absurd).

C:  You're right here!  But where is God?

N:  He's in heaven.

C:  That's right.  God is in heaven.

N:  And God doesn't ever get tired.  He doesn't ever go to sleep.  But, Jesus sleeps.  He fell asleep in the boat.

C:  That's right, when Jesus was a man, we did sleep and he did fall asleep in the boat.   But now he is in heaven with God.  So, he doesn't need to sleep anymore.  When we get to heaven, we can see them both.

N:  That is a LONG way away.  It's going to be a long car ride to get there.

C:  To heaven?

N:  Yeah.  It's going to take a really long time to get there.  When we go to New Orleans, it is a long time (meaning: it takes a long time to get there) but when we drive to heaven, it's going to take even longer.  We'll have to watch lots of movies and take naps in the car.

C:  Maybe so, Nora, maybe so.


It was such a sweet conversation to have with my girl.  I pray that the Lord continues to draw her heart to His and that He equips Jonathan and I to teach and train her in a way that pleases and glorifies him.  It's so humbling to have children that we are called to raise!  We love our sweet girl so much and are so thankful for her.   I pray we have many more conversations like these.

In Recent Days...

I have seen...

sunshine.  red bud trees in full bloom.  beautiful tulips and dogwood tree blossoms. a girl who is looking less like a toddler and more like a girl every day.  her hair is longer and so are her little lanky legs.  messy bedrooms with dolls and puzzle pieces and books everywhere.  toy trucks and dozers.  kids running up and down the hill in the backyard.  short sleeves and shorts and sundresses and sandals.  carpenter bees and wasps.  people stopping to get flyers from our for sale sign in the front yard.  baby bunnies and baby ducklings.  a moving womb as Stella stretches and kicks.  less of my feet.  runny noses as springtime allergies affect the kiddos.  little girl dressed up as Belle and Ariel and Cinderella.  "markeling" at the kitchen table with Daddy.  swinging on the swingset.  boy who is weeks away from two years old grow in his love for the outdoors, mud, and choo choo trains.  a bridesmaids dress (for me) that was WAY to small for the pregnant body.  as a result, I have seen the seamstress way more than I would have liked to.  in the end, I have seen a bridesmaids dress that actually fits.

I have heard...

lots of singing.  "my soul finds rest in God alone."  whining and crying as a sick boy just can't find happiness unless he's being held by momma.  nora reading her library books to her brother.  lots of silliness in the backseat of the van as the two "bigger ones" adjust to sitting next to each other in the car now that Stella is only weeks away.  lots of arguing in the backseat as the two "bigger ones" adjust to sitting next to each other in the car now that Stella is only weeks away.  "Holy God in love became perfect man to bear my blame, on the cross He took my sin.  By his death I live again."  the kids playing "crazy daddy" in the den with their father.  Stella's heartbeat.  Nora asking me how I'm feeling and how Stella is doing.  requests for jellybeans.  an exploding vocabulary out of a little boy who changes and grows daily. 

I have smelled...

fresh flowers.  the first mowed lawns of the spring.  kids that smell like puppy dogs after having played outside in the sunshine and warmth.  fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.  not much, some days, as a result of allergies.  dirty diapers.  clean clothes right out of the dryer.  cantaloupe and sweet strawberries as we are enjoying the fruit of the warmer weather.  new mulch.  jonathan firing up the grill for dinner.  granna's wonderful cooking.  freshly mopped floors.

I have tasted...

popsicles.  starburst jellybeans.  lots of coffee and sweet tea.  the joys of being a wife and mother and most importantly, daughter of the Lord.  a meal prepared by good friends.  dinner while out on a date with my precious husband.  not enough ice cream.  the pain of seeing sin in the hearts of my children and realizing over and over again their desperate need for a Savior and my desperate need for his grace and help in raising them.  pw's lasagna. 

I have touched...

the blonde heads of my babies.  my growing belly.  skinned knees and elbows.  very dirty children.  lots of Clorox wipes.  many faces with kleenex to wipe away runny noses.  my husband's hands.  inch worms that Nora found at Geegaw's house.  the flyswatter as I try to shew away the wasps and bees.  glitter (it's everywhere in our house these days thanks to the princess of the house).  Stella's bedding.  fevered foreheads.  sweaty feet as I pull their shoes off after playing outside.  puppies from around the neighborhood.  every corner of my house in attempts to get it cleaned for house showings.  new babies of dear friends.  my Bible in early mornings thanks to the encouragement of my hubby and the grace of the Lord. 

I have experienced...

lots of laughter and joy and peace even on days when I was exhausted or struggling.  the love of a husband who comes home right after work when we've had a rough day of sick kids at home.  forgiveness of sin.  grace, unmeasured and free and abundant.  true friendships.  unconditional love from my children and hubby.  homesickness for my mom, dad and sisters.  a desire for a snowball and boiled crawfish.  contractions.  lots of kicks to the ribs and bladder.  lots of hugs and kisses from my growing babies.  the joy of loving our care group and everyone in it.  God's faithfulness. 

Isaiah 43

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and through the rivers,
they shall not overwhelm you.
when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,
and the flam shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

[. . .]

"You are my witnesses," declares the Lord,
"and my servant whom I have chosen,
that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
when there was no strange god among you;
and you are my witnesses," declares the Lord, "and I am God."

[. . .]

Thus says the Lord,
whom makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
"Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
the people whom I formed for myself that the might declare my praise."


We serve and kind and powerful God!

Praying For Baby Grace

Today, I am praying for Baby Grace Elizabeth Golden.  Grace is at this moment tucked safely away in her Momma's tummy, awaiting her delivery.  Grace is the daughter of one of my best friend's from college, Karen.  At twenty weeks gestation, Karen and her hubby Chad went in for an ultrasound to find out the gender of their baby only to find out that their precious baby girl was diagnosed with a very rare condition called occipital encephalocele.

Karen is scheduled for a c-section this morning in just over an hour to deliver Grace.  There are thousands of people praying for a miracle for this beautiful baby girl as the exact prognosis won't be defined until she is born.  Please join me in praying for Grace and Karen and Chad today and over the next several days and weeks.  Please pray for Karen and Chad as they rejoice over Grace's birth and celebrate her arrival.  Pray for Karen as she tries to recover extremely quickly from a c-section to guarantee as much time as possible with Grace.  Please pray for Chad and Karen as they make very important and significant decisions for Grace in the coming hours and days. 

Grace has already affected so many lives through her little life.  The way that Karen and Chad have been walking out the past twenty weeks has been a testimony of the love of God, the care of God, and the closeness of God during difficult times and trials. 

Please visit Karen's blog Gifts from Grace to learn more about Grace's condition and to follow along with their story.  I will try to keep you updated as I learn more.

Only Your Blood is Enough...

No 
bleeding
 bird, 
no 
bleeding 
beast
 
No
 hyssop 
branch, 
no 
priest
 
No 
running 
brook, 
no 
flood, 
no 
sea

Can 
wash 
away 
this 
stain 
from
 me.

For only your blood is enough to cover my sin.
For only your blood is enough to cover me.



I know I have talked about the band Sojourn several times and their wonderful album entitled "Over The Grave," so forgive me for doing so again.  However, I can't get these powerful and thought-provoking words out of my head today.  Which is fine with me!  I pray they strike your heart like they have mine.

Reading through the Old Testament laws about sacrifices and offerings helps this ring ever more true.  Praise God that we are free to come to Him without a priest, a bird, a lamb to sacrifice.


The Law demands a perfect heart but I'm defiled in every part.
For only your blood is enough to cover my sin.
For only your blood is enough to cover me.

Thank you, Father, that my future isn't dependent on what I contribute.  I'd be hopeless.