Green Leaves.

This past January, the ladies in our small group began going through a book together called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow.  I first read this book many years ago when I found it at my parent's house one day during a particularly difficult season in my life---we were struggling with getting pregnant and I was very consumed and fearful about being able to have children.  I read the book and learned so much and benefited tremendously from the wisdom and encouragement it provided.  Since that time, I've referred to it over and over again.  The past six months, as we've been going through this book together, I have rediscovered so much truth, so much application, and have grown in such depth of relationship with my girlfriends as the discussions of contentment (or lack thereof), fear, anxiety, and trusting the Lord have brought us together. 

Never has this book been more timely than in the past six weeks or so.  After reading several chapters on anxiety and how to walk out putting to death the sin of anxiety, the Lord has brought a trial into our family's life that has allowed me to put my faith to work.  I am so thankful for the foresight the Lord had in having me be reminded of his commands, saying, "Do not fear!" 

This morning, I woke up early to read and was slammed with a flood of encouragement from the Lord.  I opened my Calm My Anxious Heart book to the next chapter in our assignment, and it immediately felt as if the chapter were written for me.  For this season.  For today, specifically.  I am so blown away by the kindness of the Lord.  I sense his care and friendship.  He is so specific sometimes and so intentional, and I just want to remember this.  He has been so faithful the past several weeks, even when I am not.  He has carried me when I am low and sad and scared, and in the midst of all of those emotions, he has not left my side.  I have sensed His presence, His voice, His sovereignty there, just patiently waiting to remind me of His goodness. 

Here are somethings the Lord greeted me with this morning:

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Thus says the Lord:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man

and makes flesh his strength,

whose heart turns away from the Lord.

6 He is like a shrub in the desert,

and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

in an uninhabited salt land.

7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose trust is the Lord.

8 He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

The author of the book wrote a prayer based on these verses that she prayed over and over again during a long trial, which I am copying and planning to make my heart's prayer during this time:

Please, God, teach me what it means to not only trust You but make You my total trust.  I long to become that blessed woman whose roots are planted deep by Your river.  As the heat of the trials increase, I long to trust instead of fear, to be content instead of anxious.  Please keep my eyes focused on You so that my leaves will stay green and fruit will be produced in the midst of the what ifs, the trials, and the hardest days ahead.

Here are some other scriptures from the chapter that build my faith:

Isaiah 41:10
fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 141:8

But my eyes are toward you, O God, my Lord; in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless! 

Psalm 112:7
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

The Lord is trustworthy.  I can trust him with my life, my circumstances, and the future because I trust HIM and his character and his heart.  I can thank God that He has everything under control and that He is orchestrating all things.

Finally, this quote:

"Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future, but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but His."  H. E. Manning, as quoted by Elisabeth Elliot in her book Keep and Quiet Heart

I know I am being vague in this post regarding specifics, but there will be a time when I share specifically the things these words reference.  Thank you for your patience.

In the meantime, I am praying that my leaves will stay green!

Prayers for My Children

“By the power of the blood of Jesus Christ, bring every thought and imagination of my child’s mind, every emotion of his heart, every deed of his hands, and every step that he takes under Your Lordship. Lead him to love You with all of his heart, mind, and soul, and his neighbor as himself.”

I came across this article this morning by a mother praying for her prodigal son.  I found her prayer for her son so beautiful and at the heart of what I want and need to pray for my little ones.  Lest I forget that their hearts are ultimately in hands of our Father and not in mine.  God calls me to teach and to train and to love and to care, but He is the maker and molder of their hearts.  I pray that He gives me faith to rest in that knowledge and equips me to all that He is calling me to.

Came to My Rescue

Just being honest, it's been a rough week this past week parenting-wise.  I love my kiddos so much, but sometimes I get overwhelmed by the constancy of tending to a four-year old, two-year old, and three-month old.  It's a very busy season, but such a precious season.  I am so thankful for the time I have with them, almost every minute of every day, but I get very impatient at times and don't do a great job of displaying kindness, gentleness, and patience.  It's like I know in my head the kind of mother I want to be all of the time, but because of my sinful heart I am not that mother.  God has been showing me that I am completely dependent on him to be the Momma that brings him glory and shows Christ to my kiddos.  I have been very aware this week that I can't do this job by myself.

While driving in the car yesterday, I was listening to Pandora and found myself listening to a familiar song:  "Came to My Rescue" by Hillsong United.

Here are the words:

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours
My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne

I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I,
I wanna be where you are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

 The words "My whole life I place in your hands.  God of mercy, humbled,  I bow down.  [. . .] I called, you answered, and you came to my rescue and I want to be where you are."  That's my prayer.  My whole life, my kids' lives, their hearts, their salvation, their attitudes and behaviors, their education, their relationships with each other, my relationship with Jonathan, my chaotic house, my relationship with You.....I give it all to you.  I know in my sin I'll continue to take it back, thinking that I can handle it when indeed I cannot, but right now, I am going to choose to let go and give it to you.  Help me to keep doing that.  Give it up, give it you.  It belongs to you, anyway!

Motherhood

I recently came across two wonderful articles on the Desiring God blog about motherhood.  They were posted within a few weeks of each other, but the timing of their arrival has been just perfect for me and the encouragment and conviction I needed in the moment.  I pray that if you are have a good day as mother, a hard day as a mother, or just a mediocre day as a mother, that you will read these to uplift your soul and give a fresh breath to your calling as a Momma.

Click below to read each article by Rachel Jankovic:

Motherhood as a Mission Field

Motherhood is a Calling and Where your Children Rank

I plan to read and reread these over and over again!

Update on Baby Grace

I'm not sure who actually is checking on my blog for updates on Baby Grace, but just in case there is anyone, I will post what I know.  But, for the real deal and updated blogging from Karen (Grace's Momma), please check her blog www.giftsfromgrace.blogspot.com.  Grace is now 5 days old!  What a miracle!

The latest on Grace is that she went in for surgery this morning to remove the encephalocele.  After her MRI Monday evening, which showed that her encephalocele contained only a very small part of her cerebellum (a great sign), Karen and Chad decided to go forward with surgery today.  I have gotten several texts from Karen, and Grace is doing very well.  She is out of surgery, in the NICU, and they have gotten to see her.

Please continue to pray for Grace, that the Lord would heal her body!  She is a living testimony of His power and GRACE and love, and we can trust Him to do what is best for this precious baby girl's life.  Pray for Karen as she continues to recover from the c-section.  Please pray for Karen and Chad as they continue to make decisions for Grace, that their hearts would be united and that they would be guided by the Holy Spirit in all things.  I know they love the Lord and are trusting in Him.  What a joy it is to watch Him work in this precious family's life and in particular, through such a precious baby!  I will occasionally update regarding Grace, but naturally, Karen's blog is going to be the best place for information. 

Thank you for praying for my sweet friends!

Isaiah 43

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and through the rivers,
they shall not overwhelm you.
when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,
and the flam shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

[. . .]

"You are my witnesses," declares the Lord,
"and my servant whom I have chosen,
that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
when there was no strange god among you;
and you are my witnesses," declares the Lord, "and I am God."

[. . .]

Thus says the Lord,
whom makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
"Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
the people whom I formed for myself that the might declare my praise."


We serve and kind and powerful God!

Update on Baby Grace

I don't have a lot of information about Grace, but I do know that she was born yesterday morning weighing 7 lbs., 1 oz.  They said that she is just beautiful with chubby cheeks and Karen's lips!  I know that she was doing better than they expected, but was taken to the NICU.  That's about all I know.

Please continue to pray for Grace! Please pray for Karen and Chad, and that their time with Grace will be so precious.  Also, Karen is recovering from a c-section, so I imagine she is in some pain and trying to heal in the midst of all of this.  As I learn more, I will post, but also, please check out Karen's blog Gifts From Grace for more info. 

Praying For Baby Grace

Today, I am praying for Baby Grace Elizabeth Golden.  Grace is at this moment tucked safely away in her Momma's tummy, awaiting her delivery.  Grace is the daughter of one of my best friend's from college, Karen.  At twenty weeks gestation, Karen and her hubby Chad went in for an ultrasound to find out the gender of their baby only to find out that their precious baby girl was diagnosed with a very rare condition called occipital encephalocele.

Karen is scheduled for a c-section this morning in just over an hour to deliver Grace.  There are thousands of people praying for a miracle for this beautiful baby girl as the exact prognosis won't be defined until she is born.  Please join me in praying for Grace and Karen and Chad today and over the next several days and weeks.  Please pray for Karen and Chad as they rejoice over Grace's birth and celebrate her arrival.  Pray for Karen as she tries to recover extremely quickly from a c-section to guarantee as much time as possible with Grace.  Please pray for Chad and Karen as they make very important and significant decisions for Grace in the coming hours and days. 

Grace has already affected so many lives through her little life.  The way that Karen and Chad have been walking out the past twenty weeks has been a testimony of the love of God, the care of God, and the closeness of God during difficult times and trials. 

Please visit Karen's blog Gifts from Grace to learn more about Grace's condition and to follow along with their story.  I will try to keep you updated as I learn more.

Only Your Blood is Enough...

No 
bleeding
 bird, 
no 
bleeding 
beast
 
No
 hyssop 
branch, 
no 
priest
 
No 
running 
brook, 
no 
flood, 
no 
sea

Can 
wash 
away 
this 
stain 
from
 me.

For only your blood is enough to cover my sin.
For only your blood is enough to cover me.



I know I have talked about the band Sojourn several times and their wonderful album entitled "Over The Grave," so forgive me for doing so again.  However, I can't get these powerful and thought-provoking words out of my head today.  Which is fine with me!  I pray they strike your heart like they have mine.

Reading through the Old Testament laws about sacrifices and offerings helps this ring ever more true.  Praise God that we are free to come to Him without a priest, a bird, a lamb to sacrifice.


The Law demands a perfect heart but I'm defiled in every part.
For only your blood is enough to cover my sin.
For only your blood is enough to cover me.

Thank you, Father, that my future isn't dependent on what I contribute.  I'd be hopeless.

Such Amazing Kindness.

Proverbs 2:1-15


My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice
and watching over the way of his saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path;
for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
discretion will watch over you,
understanding will guard you,
delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, 
who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness,
who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil,
men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways.


I found this Proverb to be so encouraging to my soul this morning.  Our church is beginning a series on the Proverbs (one of my favorite books of the Bible), so I am slowly trying to read through per our pastors' suggestions.  I was just overcome by the Lord's kindness and promises found in the verses of this Proverbs.  Of course, it is only by the grace of God that we desire to make our ears attentive and incline our hearts, it is a miracle of the Lord that we ask the Lord for wisdom and understanding.  But, His Word promises that when we do, if we do, THEN WE WILL have this wisdom come into our hearts.

I need wisdom in so many aspects of my life.  It is so kind of the Lord to let us know that it is his pleasure to give it to us.  Lord, please watch over my ways and guard my paths and let discretion watch over me.  Help me to understand righteousness and justice, and please, let wisdom come into my heart.

May Your Power Rest On Me

I can't get enough of this song.  Such truth!

My Heart's Meditation Today

God Moves In A Mysterious Way by William Cowper
God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants His footsteps in the sea, And rides upon the storm. Deep in unfathomable mines Of never-failing skill He treasures up His bright designs, And works His sovereign will. Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take, The clouds ye so much dread Are big with mercy, and shall break In blessings on your head. Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust Him for His grace; Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face. His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour; The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flower. Blind unbelief is sure to err, And scan his work in vain; God is His own interpreter, And He will make it plain.

Give Not Up Thy Prayers

The following quotes have come across my path several times in the past two weeks. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something and encourage my faith. I post these here again in case, like me, you need to see these quotes again or for the first time so that your faith in our God who is "might to save" will be increased.


“Unbelief says, ‘Some other time, but not now; some other place, but not here; some other people, but not us.’ Faith says, ‘Anything He did anywhere else He will do here; anything He did any other time He is willing to do now; anything He ever did for other people He is willing to do for us!’” A.W. Tozer

“Mighty to Save” Isaiah 63:1

“Christ is not only ‘mighty to save’ those who repent, but He is able to make men repent. He will carry those to heaven who believe; but He is, moreover, mighty to give men new hearts and to work faith in them. He is mighty to make the man who hates holiness love it, and to constrain the despiser of His name to bend the knee before Him….Believer, here is encouragement. Art thou praying for some beloved one? Oh, give not up thy prayers, for Christ is ‘mighty to save.’ You are powerless to reclaim the rebel, but your Lord is Almighty. Lay hold on that mighty arm and rouse it to put forth its strength…Whether to begin with others, or to carry on the work in you, Jesus is ‘mighty to save;’ the best proof of which lies in the fact that He has saved you.” Charles Spurgeon

Latest on Baby Jordan

Ok...here's the scoop. Jordan was born last night. Kim began contracting, and by the time Keith got the nurse, Jordan's little foot popped out! She was breech, so they quickly delivered via C-section. Jordan is doing pretty well. She is in the NICU, but is not on a respirator, just a C-pak (sp?). That is the little clear, plastic tube that gets stuck in the nose to force air into the lungs. The doctors were encouraging that if things continue to progress well that Jordan may be home as early as 2-3 weeks, but more likely 4-6 weeks. Please pray for them all, especially Kim who has yet to see her baby girl and is recovering from surgery.

Update on Baby Jordan

I just got off the phone with my Momma. She didn't have much information, but she did tell me that Baby Jordan was born sometime yesterday evening. She is 3 lbs, 6 oz., born at 32 weeks. Obviously, she is doing pretty well or we would have more information, but lots could have happened between last night and now. As soon as I get more info about her status, I will update again. Thanks for praying for this sweet baby girl. God is sovereign and has numbered all of our days. Please continue to pray that Jordan will thrive and be a testimony of God's amazing sustaining and healing power!

Prayer Request: Baby Jordan

Please be in prayer for my cousin Keith and his wife Kim. Kim is 32 weeks pregnant with their first baby, a little girl to be named Jordan. Last night, Kim's water broke! She is in the hospital where they are trying to keep her from delivering as long as possible. They live in Birmingham away from family. Please pray for Kim's health and that Baby Jordan will stay in utero for a few more days atleast. Pray that delivery will go smoothly for Kim and that miraculously, Baby Jordan will be strong and healthy! I'll keep you posted!

Please Pray

Please keep my grandmother in your prayers. She fell today in her home while my aunt was at work and broke her ankle. Her emergency service button that she wears around her neck for such occasions didn't work, so she dragged herself through her home to the street and screamed for help until someone heard her. She will be spending the next few days in the hospital.

This is my mom's mom and her name is Gloria. We so appreciate your prayers for a speedy recovery and wisdom for my mom, aunts, and uncle about how to best provide future care for her.